My Birth Story and Newborn Pics

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We've been home for a few weeks now, and I can't tell you how excited we were to be back home from the hospital. Every birth experience is different duh, but this one made me say I'm absolutely done. When Leah was born 5 years ago, I was in labor for 20 hours and my cervix would not dilate past 6 centimeters. They say that how ever you deliver the first time will be how you'll deliver the next time around. But, there are some women who have been able to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after C-Section) delivery and this is also what I was aiming for.

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One, I wanted to know what it felt like to deliver on my own... the experience of pushing and pulling your baby out. I felt like I was robbed of that experience with Leah. Two, I knew that delivering by Cesarean meant a longer recovery time, and I still had a 5 year old to take care of, take to school, etc. 

On October 31, my water broke early in the morning right before the hubs was about to literally leave out the door for work. I was on the couch, and it just felt like a small water balloon or something had burst in between my legs. I ran to the bathroom and was like... um babe... I think my water just broke, I don't think you're working today so call off, LOL. I wish someone had told me to buy some Depend Diapers, because I assumed that when your water broke it would be one gush of liquid and that's it. I was all over the place trying to get dressed and liquid trickled down like every frikkin 2-3 minutes. Just when I thought I was done, I wasn't. Charles words: "Wait get off the carpet",  "Noooo, just get in the shower" "Seriously! Ok, just sit on the toilet, don't move!" , (After he just mopped), " Wait Nooo, not right there!", "Shouldn't we be gone by now?", "When is it supposed to stop?" Me: " I don't know!!!"

I wish there was a video of all of that...Okay, maybe not. After it finally let up, I woke Leah up to get dressed. I let her put her Halloween costume on and promised her I would not let Baby Joseph mess up her candy costume day. Charles: "Seriously, are we really doing this right now, she's wearing her costume to the hospital." Lol, yes we did that, and I even took a shower and flat ironed my hair. I wasn't having any contractions yet anyway.

After 2 hours we finally left out. In the car I had another gush of liquid come down, a huge one. It wasn't until we got 20 minutes away from the hospital that my contractions seemed to be 7 minutes apart. When they admitted me I was 5 cm dilated. After about 13 hours and an epidural I had moved up to 6 centimeters but my contractions weren't getting stronger. My idea of having a vaginal delivery was beginning to look very slim (sadface). My blood pressure had also gone up and I tested positive for preclamsia. During that time, the doctors had already ran in twice because the baby's heart had decreased every time I would turn over on my right side. I'm also pretty sure I didn't really have preclamsia and that my blood pressure just went up because of the doctors and everything going on. I say this because it went down after everything was over.

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Anyway, The doctor gave me two options. They could give me Pitocin to hurry the labor process or go ahead with the C-section.  She had already informed me that when doing a VBAC there's a 1% chance of my uterus rupturing, and getting Pitocin would increase my chances by another 1 %. She left Charles and I to discuss and basically he didn't want me to do either, he wanted me to wait it out. I was tired of waiting and something told me to just go ahead with the C-Section. I really wanted to deliver natural, I didn't want to get cut open again, but I also didn't want to put the baby or I under any more stress. I could tell the hubs was a bit nervous with my decision, but we said a prayer and kept it at that.

At 21:21pm (9:21), Joseph Charles Hayden was born. He was the cutest thing, his eyes were so alert when he came out!! Charles had the biggest smile on his face when he brought him over. We call him our blessing. He wasn't planned but definitely a gift from God, plus Charles had been wanting a boy for the longest! 21 (the time he was born) is Charles college football jersey number, which I  had worn the day before at a family dinner. So, yeah we like to think God was all up in this birth and wanted us to know it. When they took me to the recovery room, the doctor informed me that my Uterus had started to rupture during the process of labor, so it was good that I didn't keep going with the Pitocin. That voice in my head saying just stop and get the C-Section, all God too. Because of the rupture, if we ever choose to have another baby, we have to wait at least a year to give my uterus and incision time to heal. The baby will also have to be delivered at 37 weeks by cesarean, otherwise I'm at high risk.

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So, to answer everyone's question, am I done!? Heck yes! I have a boy and a girl, I'm good. Even though I couldn't deliver the way I wanted to, It's okay. I had to remember that I carried a baby for 9 months and through all the issues at the hospital that day, I remained as calm as I could to deliver a healthy baby boy. There's nothing wrong with me, I did good and I'm proud of myself. I can't wait until he gets older tho, so I can let him know how he stressed me way more than his sister did.

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TL Hayden

I’m Tamika, graphic designer, social media manager, wife, mom of 2, and founder of GIRLANDGOALS.

I’ve been helping women grow their brand and start new businesses since 2011 when pregnant with my daughter. On my journey as a fempreneur, I get so many questions about starting a business, how I balance mom-life and more. So, I created a platform/community to mix all those answers together while including other femes on the same path.

personal blog / personal ig

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